Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thou Shalt Not Micro-Manage Thy God

I wouldn't necessarily call it a "New Years Resolution" per-se, simply because I purposefully don't believe in New Years resolutions. I believe that we should be working on improving ourselves year-round. Not just at the beginning of the year. However with that being said, one of my goals for self-improvement this year has been to trust more in God, and less in myself. I thought I was making great success in this effort.

...That is until today.

While it is true that I have cut out any and all attempts to bargain with God to get my way, today I recognized a fatal flaw in my journey to fully trusting in God. My problem hit me like a news flash across a television screen. While I've cut out all bargaining efforts, under the surface the attempts to stay one step ahead of God have been alive and well.. and very sneaky I might add.

The problem with this behavior is that all of the supposed success I've made in my journey to faithfully trusting Him hasn't been success at all. This is because the root problem still remains the same- a lack of trust. You could rightfully say that I haven't been fully trusting in God like I thought I was. Though I have stopped negotiating with God, I have been trying to interpret every little thing that happens in my life on a daily basis, and trying to find out what it means- like a really bad boss who assigns you a project and then micro-manages every step along the way. Simply put, I've been trying to read God's play book in order to anticipate His next move.

The problem with this is that, like every other great mind, God cannot be micro-managed. And that's what I've tried to do. I've cut out the bargaining process and taken up the role of a micro-manager. However, it ends today. To paraphrase Solomon in Ecclesiastes 5, God is in heaven, and I am on Earth. What could I possibly have to tell to Him? The answer is 'Nothing.'

The good news is, this is a journey I don't mind starting over on. I've been so richly blessed in my efforts to trust Him so far that I look forward to seeing the rewards that will come from this leg of our journey together. Starting today I'm going to stop worrying so much about what goes on behind the scenes and just enjoy the show that's on stage in front of me.

1 comment:

  1. gonna try this again. you keep getting better and better. keep it up. i am proud of you. your Florida Mom